Bludgering Brown

"OMG!" the schoolgirls go.
"Scandalous!" the parlour moms exclaim
"Who?" the working moms ask.
"She probably deserved it,"the men of the world say placidly.
Only the women who are bludgeoned as well empathize. And only I have a fit of mirthless laugh.

Rihanna was beat up by her very own Chris Brown. No joke, people, this is serious as they get. The picture was just released and Rihanna's pretty pucker had the shape and size of an elephant ear. So we know he's been working out.
All irony aside, it is parlour-lady scandalous that in our day, age and not to mention social status, a not-21-years-old-yet man sees no wrong (or simply ignores the wrong) in striking a woman. A not-20-years-old-yet woman.
The fact that they're both icons of the modern world makes it even funnier: the angels we pray to for looks and talents such as their are rolling on their clouds laughing.

"You wanna look like this?"
"No, but I do wanna have his right hook."

What we should do is throw the little Michael-Jackson-follower behind bars for some time hoping to rid him of his violent habits. No bail, please, we all know he can pay that and be out and running (in his case, biting, was it?) faster that you can say "expensiveplasticsurgery".
For Rihanna, I feel sorry a bit. (Stressing "a bit". I find it hard to empathize with people who are so incredibly far from what I am and do, it's a fault of mine.) You meet a guy who can dance you to Neverland Ranch and sing you well into a comfy mansion on the hillside of dear old Hollywood. He looks like a prince, probably is smooth, ergo you fall for him. The next thing you know he's "borrowing money from you and spending it on other dames and betting on horses", in the immortal words of Marilyn Monroe. So guess Chris Brown isn't all that special: at the end of the day, he's nothing but a mean-spirited horse with an appetite for kicking.
And Rihanna's nothing but another abused person joining the pool of homeless kids, moms who leave their husbands, children who kill their parents, dogs who bite their owners and Whitney Houstons/ Tina Turners.

So, today, for the world, we have Rihanna's swollen picture staring at us with a pained expression. Today, she was just an abused lover.

The difference is somewhat made by the possiblity of plastic surgery, but that's another story.

That's the way the cookie crumbles! (or something in that category of sayings that imply food falling apart being a major event)